Just Sleep for Now, It will be better in the morning
by Pinkpillow19
Summary: Sliding down the door Emma could still hear the muffled crying. It was all her fault. Could she give Regina her happy ending?
1. Doorway

She sat crying on one side of the door.

Silently.

Emma on the other.

"Regina, I'm Sorry. Henry brought me back to bring back all of the happy endings, and my job is not done until you have yours too."

A pause.

"You know if you won't fight I will, you can be happy Regina."

Deep breath.

"And I'm not leaving."

Emma slid down on the other side of the door.

Regina could feel the door take on Emma's weight. As tears continued to stream down here face. She hadn't slept. The pain at losing her future was too much. But as Emma sat there, on the other side of the door Regina lost her anger at the blonde. She was tired so tired. She didn't care if Emma could hear her. She let out a sob, and laid down on the floor, facing away from the door.

Emma could hear her crying. Regina was definitely right on the other side of the door. She sighed and put her head in her hands. She messed up, bad. She hadn't wanted to hurt Regina, but she did, again. She listened to the soundtrack of Regina's broken heart for almost an hour. At which point she was certain the woman had cried herself to sleep. She sat there imagining Regina lying on the floor, how she would wake up in even more pain.

Emma walked to her office as they were in city hall and got some pins to pick a lock. She did so quietly and there was only a tiny click. She hoped Regina wasn't right against the door so she could slip in, she wasn't. Emma slightly pushed the door open and squeezed herself in. Regina was passed out on the floor. Tear tracks just starting to dry on her face. Emma put her hand on Regina's shoulder.

"Hey, Regina. Let's get you over to the couch ok?" Emma rubbed her arm as she spoke.

Regina slowly opened her eyes. She didn't jump, she didn't speak, she slowly sat up and let Emma pull her up. Emma set her down. Found a blanket in the stool Regina kept for long nights at the office. Went back over to Regina. Took her shoes off. Slipped her own black shirt off, leaving just her white tank on.

"Here, let's change you into this, you will sleep better."

Regina complied, as she was too tired to really understand what was going on. She took of her shirt and skirt and Emma slipped her black shirt over Regina's head. Then sat on her left, put a pillow in her lap and laid Regina down after pulling the blanket over her.

"Just go to sleep." She stared running her hand through Regina's hair.

The woman let out a sigh. And snuggled into Emma's lap.

It wasn't long after Regina nodded off to sleep that Emma did too.

_shall i continue? :)_


	2. Still There

Regina awoke to a dark office. Now well rested, Regina's mind returned to one thought, her happiness was gone. She snuggled closer into her pillow, tightening her arms around it.

But she realized this was not a pillow, this was a person. She heard the grumbled sighs of someone waking up. She had only a few moments to grasp the situation. She had fallen asleep ON someone. What had happened earlier? It was coming back slowly. She had been upset, had gone to her office where she thought no one would look for her, but someone did. Emma. Emma had slid down the other side of the door and refused to leave. Regina's heart would have warmed at the action but her heart was broken. Did she truly blame Emma? No, the woman was an idiot, never thinking of consequences, like her idiot mother before her, but Regina knew that life just never seemed to quite work out for her.

She sighed. A hand brushed through her hair. The person was awake, Emma, it had to be Emma.

"Hey, you up?"

Yes definitely Miss Swan.

"Almost." Regina grumbled out, slowly pushing herself up.

Emma got up and stumbled to turn the desk light on, with what little light she had to work with coming through the window.

Regina smiled when she heard Emma trip, so clumsy.

Emma looked up and saw Regina rubbing her eyes, with messy hair and upper thighs and underwear showing, wow she was beautiful.

Regina glanced up.

"If you are going to make fun of how I look you may leave now." Her voice was the mayors, trying quickly to get her guard up a little. Then glancing down.

"Emma, what happened to my clothes!" Regina's eyes went wide. She quickly pulled the blanket up.

Emma walked back over to the couch and sat down.

"wow you must have been really tired…" Regina shot her a warning glare, there had better be an explanation.

"Regina, I came to check on you, and to apologize. You were really upset and fell asleep on the floor so… I kinda broke into your office?" She said with a shrug.

"Yes Emma, but why am I wearing …"

"My shirt? I thought you would sleep better. I know you haven't slept since…well me either." Emma looked down at her lap and pushed her hair behind her ear, but it fell back down covering her face.

"Oh same with your skirt, I thought you would sleep better." Emma looked up to amend.

Regina was staring blankly at her, Emma couldn't get a read on her.

Regina blinked glanced away and moved to get up, when she did she swayed and Emma quickly rose to steady her.

"Woah, Regina." She glanced at the woman whose eyes were shut tight.

"Have you eaten at all?" Emma's worried eyes searching for Regina's.

Regina opened her eyes not looking at Emma and shook her head.

"No, I haven't." She reached for the couch to sit back down.

"If you haven't noticed I haven't been thinking clearly." She said without malice.

Regina put her head in her hands and took a deep breath.

"Regina, I'll go grab something from Granny's or," Looking at the clock. "Drive you home and cook you something…"

"Emma…" Regina interrupted quietly, her voice cracking.

Emma focused back on Regina.

"Yeah?"

Regina's eyes were already starting to pool with tears.

"Why are you here?"

Emma took a deep breath; she couldn't look at Regina anymore, so she focused her sight on the floor.

"To make sure you are ok, to apologize. I know I messed up. "

Then after a moment, "I meant what I said, my job is not done till everyone gets there happy endings"

She risked a glance at the broken woman's face, "Even you."

Regina had tears running down her face, Emma's heart ached, she wished she could take what she had done back, but she couldn't, Miriam was here to stay.

Regina took in a shaky breath. Emma grabbed her hands.

"Regina, That woman is wrong, you are NOT a monster, or a villain. Henry doesn't see you that way, and neither do I. You are not alone, you have us, and my… my _idiot_ parents." She added the last part with a smile adding Regina's favorite phrase, making Regina smile a little.

"Didn't you see how quick Snow was to jump to your side? She loves you, you know?"

Regina tears continued their assault down her cheeks.

Emma wanted to wipe them away, but that was too intimate.

She sat there hoping words would be enough.

"I am so sorry."


	3. You have to eat something

Emma took Regina home. Regina insisted she could take care of herself, but Emma wouldn't leave till she watched Regina eat something.

Regina sat at the island in her kitchen rolling her eyes.

"Honestly Emma, I'm fine, but I won't be if you light my kitchen on fire." She said with raising one eye brow. Then blowing on her tea and taking a sip.

Emma turned back to the eggs, a smile plastered across her face.

"Emma…" Regina waited till Emma turned around again.

"Yeah?" Emma half turned.

"I need you to promise me something." She knew this would only be temporary.

"What is it Regina?" Emma was worried the woman looked conflicted.

"Henry, keep a close eye on him. I need… I need him to stay away for a while." Regina fought back tears.

Emma whipped around.

"Regina no. That's not what Henry needs…"

Regina now yelling, "Well maybe it's what I NEED!" her anger surprising both of them.

Emma dropping the spatula, went silent.

Regina sighed.

"I just, want to protect him…I don't want him to see me like this…Just do this for me Emma, please I'm begging you." She was pleading, she needed this.

"Make sure he knows I love him."

Emma was conflicted. But if this is what Regina needed to heal, she would do her best.

"Ok."

She scooped the scrambled eggs onto a plate.

"Only if you eat." Emma set the plate in front of Regina.


	4. You Can't Keep Me Out

Henry had gotten her note. His mom didn't want to see him. Emma tried to help but it didn't, not really. He wanted his mom. After seeing how determined Elsa was in not giving up on her sister, he set off for Mifflin Street.

"Mom! I know you're in there! It's my house too…and I miss my room and I am not leaving!"

Regina hears her son. Walks toward the door. Takes a deep breath, he's right she can't keep him out. It means the world to her that he braves her walls.

The lock flips. Regina stands in the doorway as the door swings open.

"Henry…" She doesn't know what to say. I'm sorry? Forgive me?

Henry takes the two short steps to his mother and holds on like he is never going to let her go.

Maybe they don't need words right now.

This is what Regina has wanted for three years of fighting for Henry, for him to want her back.

For him to fight for her.

She got her wish.

She wraps her arms around her little prince, who is not so little anymore.

Tears are falling again, though this time from pure joy.

"I love you Henry." Her eyes squeeze tight, as if he will disappear the second she opens them.

"I love you too Mom." He moves to lean back to see her face. He reaches up and wipes the tears away with his sleeve.

He grabs her hand and leads her back inside, to the kitchen.

"I'm going to make some hot chocolate for me, and tea for you." He says with determination. This is his house too, he belongs here.

Regina is happy. She is not alone. Emma was right. She has never been so happy someone has defied her wishes.

Henry looks up and sees his mom smiling to herself watching him.

"What?" He smiles, his mom has been through so much, and she is still here.

Regina's smile gets bigger.

"Nothing, I've just missed you."

Henry almost sheds a tear. "Mom I missed you too." He puts his hand over hers.

"Before I got that note I had made a whole basket for you, I researched breakups online. Emma wanted to know where I got the red wine…"

Regina griped his hand back.

"That's very thoughtful sweetheart, but all I really need is you," taking his hands, "YOU are Always enough."

Henry relaxed at that. Wow he had missed his mom. She had always loved him, he knew that now. He just needed her to focus on that. To keep her light.


	5. I don't want to

Emma was hoping things had changed, but it seemed giving Regina more space just lead to her anger slowly growing. It was the snarky comments, the eye rolls, Emma could feel the anger directed at her pouring into her skin.

She thought that they had made up at least a little. She was still going to do everything within her power to bring Regina her happy ending.

Tonight they were out chasing the SnowQueen. Emma had run into Regina in the woods, Regina had spat angry remarks at her while stomping off, knowing Emma would follow.

They had defeated a Snow Monster with their joined magic. Emma turned to Regina only to see the same hurt shining back at her. Nothing they did, nothing she did would make it better.

Emma swallowed her compliment, she averted her eyes. Regina had said that Emma never had her back. Maybe she was right.

Emma watched Regina walk off, feeling defeated dispite the magic feat they just had accomplished together.

Elsa watched the whole exchange feeling for both women. Trust is the hardest thing in the world to repair because it involves a broken heart. Elsa walked over to Emma.

"Emma, if you really care about someone, you can't give up on them…"

"Elsa you saw Regina, she hates me, probably wants me dead…" She tried to counter.

"Emma, We don't give up on those we love, Anna taught me that. Just keep trying." She added a smile and gripping Emma's shoulder, "You just have to believe, true love can thaw a frozen heart."

Emma's face turned into one of shock, "Wait, true love? I don't love Regina, well not like that…"

Elsa rolled her eyes, "There is not just one path to true love Emma, I saw the power you two possess, there must be something between you two, whether that be friendship or romantic love it doesn't matter. She still trusts you, you know? You just have to show her that she can place her faith in you again.

Emma sighed and kicked a small rock, how was she going to do that?

…

"Swan, what do I have to do to get you to leave me alone!?" Regina was beside herself, why couldn't everyone in this town just leave her alone? She had saved them plenty of times surely she had earned it.

Emma had followed her to her vault, that is where the woman would go when angry. When she was sad her office. Emma could still feel the pain vibrating off the woman.

"Regina, I'm an idiot."

Regina glanced up, "Wow, that much we can agree on."

Emma frustrated glanced away, then taking a deep breath looked back.

"Look Regina…"

"Oh do you want me to thank you for the peaceful nap you gave me?" Regina's sarcasm was evident, "Or maybe for making sure I ate enough to stay alive? Well thank you Emma I wonder why you had to do that in the first place." She crossed her arms and glared.

"Regina… I am sorry. I didn't follow you tonight to try to get rid of my guilt. I just, I have my son, my parents, but they don't always understand me Regina. Not like you can. We have been rejected and hurt so many times, and we both were born with magic, which makes us I don't know special?"

"Regina, I… thought maybe we were friends…until my recent screw-up we were getting along, you were helping me with magic so I…don't know. There was this… girl when I was younger, I thought she cared about me, I messed if up and it was too late to go back…I don't want to lose you Regina. I will keep trying… even if you still want to kill me." Emma added a sad smile, a few tears escaping past her defenses.

Regina watched Emma turn to leave then right before she reached the stairwell.

"Emma," Emma turned around, hopeful Regina was using her name and not Miss Swan.

"I don't want to kill you." Regina rolled her eyes, and beside herself smirked.

Emma's face grew lighter as if most of the weight had been lifted off,

"Hey that's a start."

Regina crossed her arms and nodded.

Emma left the vault and went to her office, to reminisce on the friendship she almost had as a kid. She watched the video as hook came in to check up on her. Her silently sat next to her, She pulled his arm around her shoulder and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Hook could tell the way the two girls looked at each other, this was Emma's first love, not Neil, he was her second. That made him her third or fourth including Walsh? He wanted to fight for this woman, she was definitely someone special.

"I need Regina to forgive me…." She sighed and looked up in his eyes, "Think she ever will?"

Hook sighed and pulled her closer in a gentle but firm hug, "She would have to be crazy not to want you in her life."

Tears fell down Emma's cheeks. Regina hurting, it made her hurt.

A/n: wasn't breaking glass great!? :D loved the "Swanqueen" episode. So cute. loved young emma's queer undertones.


	6. Self Destruct

…

Emma didn't go into work the next day. Sure she had made a little headway with Regina, but she still felt horrible. She could still see Regina's crumpled form on the floor of her office as she had snuck her way into the Mayor's office. It haunted her dreams. If she was honest with herself the dreams were worse. Sometimes she would find Regina in a pool of blood, other times she would appear fine only for Emma to realize she wasn't breathing. Emma still wasn't sleeping. She had just woken up in a sweat from her latest Regina nightmare, frantically trying to get a grip on reality. Regina was alive.

Emma heard a knock at the door. Odd her parents were taking Neil to the playground today and wouldn't be back till later. Henry had gone too. Emma threw on some blue athletic shorts, threw her unwashed hair up in a ponytail. And quickly made her way to the door.

She pulled it open so quickly she startled the person on the other side.

Regina, with an apple pie.

"Regina?" Emma looked at her stunned. Regina was at her door.

"I… made you a pie…apple…it's not poisoned this time…"

They just looked at each other and Regina tried to hand her the pie.

"I meant what I said…I don't want to kill you." Then taking in Emma's appearance, "you look terrible."

Emma scoffed and took the pie, "Ok thanks…" She turned to set the pie down assuming Regina would follow her inside.

"Emma, have… can you still not sleep."

Regina's eyes held a different expression than normal, pity? Concern?

Emma shook herself out of it. Should she just be honest? Well lasting friendships can't be built on lies.

"Yeah, I can't I keep having nightmares…" She glanced back at Regina and shrugged, "About you."

Regina nodded. Emma was really beating herself up over this. Regina wouldn't have needed to destroy Emma she was doing it to herself.

"And I can't talk to my parents," Emma busied herself trying to figure out where to put the pie and making coffee, "I don't have anyone to talk to…"

Regina didn't know why but she reached her hand out and touched Emma's arm, surprising both of them.

"Emma…"

"yeah?" She was so tired, with Regina safe here she would be able to sleep but she couldn't ask the woman for anything not after what she had done.

"Emma," Regina tried again, "You said I was your friend right, or at the least that you can talk to me? Why don't… We can do a girls night, wine a movie, something…" Ok this was getting awkward fast why would Emma want to have a sleepover with Regina….

"Seriously?!" Regina couldn't read Emma.

"Emma I mean it was just a thought." She turned to hide her face, embarrassment, that's what this was.

"I would love it Regina, but are you sure?" Emma's eyes were so hopeful a ghost of the innocent child she had once been who had had dream after dream crushed.

"Well Emma, I'll wait while you grab a shower? Then we can go to mine, I already have ice cream and wine left over from me and Henry's night…"

Emma raised her eyebrows.

"Emma please I didn't let Henry have wine." Eye roll.

….

Regina sat awkwardly in the living room of the flat while Emma showered.

Emma came out with half dried hair and the similar clothes to what she had on earlier.

"Emma you are going to get sick, or freeze like Marian." Regina shook her head.

"Regina, the car is heated, your house is heated, I'll be fine." Then looking behind her.

"Do I uh… need to bring anything? I've never had a girls night or sleepover before…Not that I have to sleep over!" She was going to ruin this before it started.

Regina saw the nervous girl that was behind the otherwise strong headed sheriff.

"It's fine Emma I should have enough blankets and pillows for us, and yes you may spend the night." She smiled, and with another eye roll she grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her to the door.

"Come on Emma."


	7. We All Have Feelings for Our Friends

Emma griped the pillow Regina had handed her tightly. She was scared. She wanted to have a good time, she wanted Regina to have a good time. Regina reached to the pillow and set it on the couch.

"It'll be there when we get back. And if you want to keep it you can." She pulled Emma to the kitchen.

She dropped her hand as she went for the wine cabinet. She squatted down to look at the selection.

"So white or red?"

Emma caught herself staring, Regina has a nice—woah! She needed to cut that out.

"Emma?" Regina turned around.

"Hm? Oh uh red please."

"You really need a glass huh?" Regina laughed lightly. Since when had she felt so relaxed around Emma? Since she felt concerned she wasn't sleeping, worse than Regina wasn't.

Regina picked out an old vintage, her favorite and grabbed two glasses. Last time she had done this… no she wouldn't think about him tonight.

"So Emma do you want to watch something in my room or on the couch…"

"Couch!" Emma said all too quickly. Regina was right she did need a glass of wine. 30 years without getting to be a kid will do that to you.

Regina grabbed her hand and led her to the couch.

"Just so you know Emma, I haven't done this either, except with Henry. That makes you special." She offered up an easy smile.

Emma sat down all the way on one end of the couch. She didn't want to invade Regina's space, the woman was being this kind to her. However Regina sat down right next to her.

Emma's closed her eyes tight she could do this.

Regina handed her a glass and poured her some wine.

"Emma if you are going to have a heart attack maybe—"

"No Regina I'm fine…I'm good." She took a big sip and forced a smile.

"What do you want to watch dear?" Regina focused her eyes on the Tv, scrolling through options.

"Um… can we watch…." Thinking of what was new on Netflix, "Orange is the New Black or something?"

She wondered if Regina would be ok with this.

"Oh, I've wanted to watch that…but of course, can't with Henry." She said with a flip of her head.

She put on episode one and Emma was asleep against her by the time the intro song had finished.

Regina watched the whole episode. She found the shower scene with Alex and Piper quite intriguing, if she had searched her memory the evil queen had been with a woman or two. She kept checking to see if Emma was really asleep, poor girl she was passed out. After one episode she decided Emma needed some real sleep, she didn't want to just leave her on the couch with her abandonment issues, so she slowly woke up the woman, who had surprisingly finished her entire wine glass earlier.

"Emma, dear, it's time for bed." Emma held tight to the pillow in her lap.

"You can bring it with you." Emma sleepily nodded, she was not awake.

Regina lead her upstairs.

She tucked Emma in then got ready for bed. As she went to leave the bathroom she stopped in the doorway. Emma was so cute in her sleep. She leaned her head against the door. Emma robbed her of a happy ending, and she robbed Emma of her childhood.

She walked over to the bed and got under the covers. Knowing Emma was sleeping finally, allowed Regina to drift off to sleep. She awoke an hour later to Emma wrapped around her. Emma's head on her shoulder, mumbling in her sleep.

Regina wanted to laugh Emma was adorable, but the sheriff would never hear it from her. She kissed Emma's head, just like she would with Henry and went back to sleep.

Emma had woken up to the feeling of lips touching her skin, but she forced herself to stay still. Regina had just kissed her…well her head. She instinctively tightened her arms around Regina.

Shit.

She held her breath, Regina hummed.

Regina liked Emma holding her. Emma was freaking out. Would this be like her last friend? would she screw it up again?

A foster mother's voice, she couldn't quite place, rang in her head.

"We all have feelings for our friends Emma, We're just not supposed to act on them."

_A/n: Name where that is from, and you get an invisible sticker! :D Also random but if anyone has any ideas I am job searching and writing ficts to keep myself sane. Any ideas on where I could work with a background in Creative Marketing/Social Media and Copywriting would be much appreciated. and i promise I will continue the ficts once I get a job :D 3 you all thanks for reading still!_


	8. A Chance, you shouldn't take

Emma waited for Regina's breathing to even out. She quickly slid out from under her. No she would not do this, not again. She quickly gathered her things and was gone.

Regina awoke to an empty bed. Sheets wrapped around her. Emma did really care. Regina knew what the nervousness had been last night, she enjoyed having that effect on Emma. She also enjoyed the saviors warmth as she kept a tight hold on Regina all night.

Regina sighed. But this was not her happy ending, that was gone.

Regina went to her vault to study the book, her and Henry had Operation Mongoose to focus on. Maybe they could still change her destiny.

Emma ran home, to the safety of her parents, Killian and her son. She was going to babysit her brother today. She arrived to pick up Neil from Snow's mommy group, but things would not go so easily today. Emma started to feel all the doubts and fears of her life. It started by a simple slip from Snow. Something about this all being the first time.

Emma remembered herself rambling about how she knew they put her through the wardrobe for the best, and that they meant well, and suddenly the bottle for her baby brother was boiling and her mother refused to hand her Neil.

She had better things to do and ran off to capture the SnowQueen. That part of her day seemed easy, until she blew a hole in the station's wall. She inwardly cursed herself. She was losing control.

She tried to get away but her family came for her, the family that made her have all of these fears and self doubts. She hurt David. She ran again. Got in her yellow bug and drove away. As far away as she could go with an ice wall surrounding Storybrooke.

She sat at the top of the hill. No one in her family could understand her, the SnowQueen was right, they feared her. How had she not noticed before? She tried to stare at the screen on her phone through another rush of tears. She saw Regina's face. She just needed to hit talk. She really wanted to, Regina would understand.

But then there was that seed of doubt in her head. What if she hurt Regina, or what if Elsa came looking for her and she hurt Elsa? No she would stay away until she got this under control.

Regina heard a sound, it was probably Emma coming to try to be her friend. Hadn't she already proven she was ready to give the Blonde a chance? Regina smiled and laughed quietly to herself. But when she looked up her smile faded, it wasn't Emma.

"Robin?" Regina's eyes were wide and her hand that hovered, about to turn the page, began to quake.

"Regina. I … I can't stay away. I love you."

She stood, to try and protest. But suddenly his lips were on hers and she felt alive. She forgot all of her worries. And all she remembered the next morning was how perfect last night had been. And how it couldn't happen again.

Regina had another round of making out with her thief for the last time, but was interrupted when Snow called and said Henry was hurt. She was still a mother first and rushed off to the Charming's apartment.

"Where is he?" She always knocked Snow over rushing in.

"Upstairs Regina, he's ok he just needs you…" Snow tried to not worry Regina more.

Regina quickly stomped up the stairs in her high heels. She found Henry sitting on the bed nursing his sore neck with an ice pack, provided by Elsa.

She approached cautiously, He wouldn't lift his gaze from his comic book. She looked around, picked up another comic and sat next to him and pretended to read.

After a good amount of time she was sure he wasn't reading either.

"Well we can both pretend to be reading about Wolverine or you could tell me what happened?"

She gingerly set her comic aside and waited for her son's eyes to meet her own.

"Emma, she lost control, then we all lost her. I found her today in the woods…I thought…I thought my love would be enough for her to gain control, but it wasn't, not like with you…"

He had tears running down his cheeks but was secretly hoping his mom wouldn't mention it.

Regina now made a move for his injury, as she reached her hand up.

"Let me take a look at that…" He moved the ice pack, Regina caught him wince.

"That hurt?" She lightly pushed under the gash.

"Yeah…" He was still trying not to cry.

Regina waved her hand, and the wound was healed.

"And not it's gone." She smile and brushed his hair back with her hand.

"It's not your fault Henry. You know Emma loves you. She just is going through a hard time right now. Do you know what set her off? Maybe I can help?" Henry's brown eyes met his moms.

"MM, she mentioned something about the baby and this being her first one, Emma freaked out."

Regina's eyes barely held back her own tears, "Oh no… poor Emma…" Her thoughts drifted to the Blonde. Of course Emma would still feel rejected and alone, it would take years for Emma to trust that her family loved her, years without love will do that to a person, Regina knew that well.

She grabbed Henry's hands, "dear Emma, she will be ok. She's a Hero Henry and…"

They finished together, "Hero's always win." It hurt Regina to say that but she wanted to believe it, for Emma. Why hadn't Emma called her when her powers were out of her control? Did she not feel safe with Regina? Did she not really trust her?

Now Regina was fighting hard not to spiral into her own self doubt. Henry slipped his hand out of his mom's and went back to reading his comic. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and saw him smile, then she headed downstairs.

Snow.

"Snow," Then noticing David," wait why the hell are both of you here? Who is out there looking for Emma?" Regina's pitch rose. She was worried. Emma was out there alone, nothing good happens when you are alone. Elsa walked over to the group.

"Regina's right, she needs to know that you love her anyway, and that you don't really fear her powers, I would know I have been through it before…"

Regina glared at the two idiots.

"Well let's get going."

"Regina listen, she found a way to lose her powers, to be normal."

Elsa's heart dropped normal? Emma needed to be loved for who she was. She quickly slipped away and out the door.

Regina was enraged, "Normal?! Snow you are her parents! Her magic, it's part of who she is. This is the worst idea you two have ever had…and that is really saying a lot you had the wicked witch as your nanny…"

Snow was tapping her tea, "Regina is right let's go." Then looking around, "Where is Elsa?"

Regina and David looked.

"She took my locator spell…"

"Doesn't matter Regina, I can track her, you have magic we will figure it out."

Quick enough they were on a road Emma must have walked down after crashing her car.

David and Henry walked behind while Regina and Snow lead the way.

"Regina, you can't give up on yourself you know."

Regina rolled her eyes.

"If only you know how far back I was falling this morning…" She pushed out a breath of air.

Snow smiled to herself, "I cold kind of tell when you showed up at our apartment before you fixed your clothes. Robin?"

Regina looked dumbstruck, "Really? Was I that obvious."

Snow shrugged, "Yeah, pretty much. It's ok Regina I mean we're human it happens. I mean I slept with a married man. I'm not perfect…"

Regina hugged herself as she walked slower, "But your still the hero Snow, and I am a villain. No matter what you do, the Book is on your side. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to change, doesn't matter, I can't escape it."

Snow grabbed Regina's arm and made her stop.

"You still have hope Regina. You just have to hold on."

Regina looked at her feet and shuffled them, "Really believe that?"

Snow took her hand away, "Doesn't matter what I believe Regina, it matters what you believe."

Snow started to walk again, Regina followed, "If I find hope I owe you a quarter hope seems to always come your way…"

Regina's phone ran.

"It's Robin….Hello? I can't come right now I am looking for Emma and…"

Snow touched her arm, Regina looked up.

"Go Regina, we've got this. Really."

Regina looked conflicted but with another push from Snow she relented and went to see what Robin needed to show her.

Emma was terrified as she didn't know what would happen if she walked through the door rumple set her in front of. She could be rid of her powers, she could also die, she wasn't sure. She was so terrified of hurting anyone, so upset that no one understood her, that people were learning to fear her, that she was learning to fear herself.

"Emma?"

Elsa, when had she gotten there.

Emma clenched her fists.

"Elsa? Please stay back, I don't want to hurt you." Emma took a step backward toward the door.

"Emma, don't do this. Your powers, they're a part of you Emma. You can control them. It wasn't just Anna's love that helped me control mine, I had to learn to love myself and accept myself for everything I am."

Emma had tears straining down her face. She had already hurt Henry.

"I saw what you did to Henry Emma it's not your fault, emotions are tricky, but you can do this. Take my hand, let me help you…"

Elsa had walked closer and was reaching out her hand, offering her help and her understanding.

"Elsa I… I could hurt you."

Elsa's eyes never left Emma's.

"Emma that is a risk I am willing to take."

Emma's eyes never left Elsa's and she reached for her hand.

When they connected, there was a burst of power but both felt relief wash over them.

"She Emma, you're ok." Elsa smiled and pulled Emma into her embrace.

"Don't ever run off and scare me like that again. I still haven't found my sister and you are all that I have got. Well if you don't count my crazy aunt running around…"

Emma gripped Elsa tight, "Thank you."

…

Emma and Elsa walked outside and were reunited with David, Snow and Henry. Emma was hugged tightly by each of them and felt loved again. To show her magic was back in control she made the rain stop and made lights appear, and then burst into fireworks.

"See all better." Henry looked up then smiled back at his mom. They were all going to be ok.

Regina had driven back to the Library, she could have poof-ed but she needed the time to think, she wasn't sure she wanted to see what Robin had found. She closed her eyes and composed herself before walking in to the library.

Robin's face lit up when Regina entered the room.

"Look I found this!" He was holding up a missing page.

Regina's confused state only intensified.

"I don't understand, is it a page ripped from the book?"

She looked up, "The book you apparently stole from me."

His cheeks flushed a little, "you knew I was a thief when you met me. I just wanted to give you some hope. I found this alternate page in my bag, just when I needed it, don't you see, there are different ways for the stories to unfold. You will have other opportunities to be happy Regina."

She looked at the page, then back to where it fit in the book. She ran her fingers over both of the pages.

"I guess maybe I owe Snow a quarter. But Robin…"

"No Regina, you can have a happy ending. Just hold on a little longer."

"But it won't be with you…." She looked away.

He opened his mouth to try and reassure her of their love but then didn't know what to say.

Regina turned and ran out before she could hear anything else.

She had hope, but she also had despair. Just because she could find a happy ending, didn't mean that she would.

She quickly ran home, she needed to process this, the page she still had clutched in her hand.

Her phone buzzed when she reached her door.

I will Keep looking. Don't lose hope. I love you.-Robin.

He still was fighting for her.

She smiled, maybe there was hope for her and Robin.

Her phone buzzed again. No it was vibrating on silent.

"Regina?" she heard a hesitant voice come through the phone.

"Emma?!" Her worry carried right through the phone.

"Hey, sorry I disappeared, my parents said you were searching for me when Robin called. Uh thanks for teaming up with them to find me…"

"Emma, are you ok?!" apparently Regina didn't want her thank you, just to know she was alright, wow they must really be friends.

"Yeah I just… lost control for a bit…" Emma was walking around outside, now pacing and not really going anywhere.

"Emma, why didn't you come to me? Call me? Did you know how worried I was. Emma you can't just run away and give up your magic, do you know what kind of price there could be for that?!" Regina hadn't regained any sense of calm since remembering the Emma situation.

"Regina relax, I'm-I'm ok. Really." Emma's eyes were watering. Regina was even more worried than her parents.

"How am I supposed to know that, I'm coming over…" Regina went to grab a jacket.

"Regina you don't need to do that…"

Regina glared at her chair as it did not have her jacket anymore, screw it she could go without.

"No Emma I will be on my way, you still need to talk…" She rushed towards the front door.

"Regina really…"

Regina almost knocked over the woman standing on her porch, knocking both of their phones to the ground.

Emma watched her phone fall awkwardly, then looked up shyly.

"Um, I'm already here…" She shrugged and lost her smile.

Regina's mouth hung open.

Emma pulled her hair over one shoulder then was pondering leaving when Regina pulled her to her.

"Never scare me like that again. You are my only true friend, you are the only one who understands me, I can't lose you too."

Emma gripped back, "I'm sorry."

They stood there wrapped in each other until Emma shivered.

Regina wiped at her eyes, and reaching for Emma's hand.

"Let's get you inside, I'll make hot coacoa… cinnamon like Henry right?"

She pulled Emma in and shut the door. She took two steps towards the kitchen then turned to hug Emma once more.

Emma smiled into her shoulder.

"Regina, really I'm fine, it's not like I'm Henry or anything." She laughed.

Regina pulled back enough to look at Emma and grabbed her face.

"Emma Swan, you are just as important. You are perfect the way you are. You are enough Emma, never change dear." When Emma's lip quivered Regina leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

"Never, dear." Then swallowing the lump in her own throat, she let her hands fall as she lead the way to the kitchen and busied herself making the hot coacoa.

Emma sat at the counter. Looking on. This woman, she always had everything ripped away from her just like Emma, and yet she was fighting still.

Emma smiled when Regina handed her the drink, she could still see the worry painted on Regina's face.

Regina walked around the counter, "Living room." She nodded with her head.

They settled in to the couch, a warm fire already going in the fire place.

Both woman curled their feet under themselves.

Emma watched the fire dance while Regina watched Emma.

"Want to talk about it dear?"

Emma's eyes stayed trained on the fire.

"About the new baby? About how they get to do everything they didn't with me? I can't hate them for that can I? They were just trying… to…"

Regina set her drink on the table then took Emma's. Set that down too. Emma still didn't continue. Regina moved closer and wrapped her arms around Emma.

"Dear you don't hate them, but you have a right to feel angry, hurt even. That won't go away, at least not right away. You are still learning how to trust and how to love, I would know…I was so lucky to get Henry, he helped so much."

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina's waist, her head on Regina's chest.

"I have been losing faith in myself lately. Maybe I can't be this new person everyone wants me to be, it's not like it even matters, I'm always a villain in the damn stories…but you Emma, you will get to be happy. You know that, you're a…hero…"

Emma shook her head against Regina.

"Something is different with Killian. I felt it tonight. I…something bad is going to happen, I can feel it. It'll probably be my fault…"

Regina kissed Emma's hair.

"Emma, hey shhhh, no listen Killian is crazy about you, and if something does happen who's to say it will be your fault? Because you have magic?"

Emma just stayed silent.

"Emma, you are a strong, smart utterly beautiful woman, anyone would be lucky to have you. You are worth the walls you make people climb. There is still a smile beneath those walls and a heart that still beats red."

It all happened so fast Emma glanced up, Regina's words were affecting her, and suddenly her lips were pressed against Regina's.

Shit.


	9. Smashing Mirrors

Regina froze in place. Emma retreated quickly. Closed her eyes, she wouldn't look at Regina. She couldn't handle fear on one more person's face.

If she would have opened her eyes she would have seen Regina caught in the headlights. She hadn't seen this coming, well not at this moment. She had assumed one of them would talk about their thoughts or better yet feelings first, over alcohol.

Emma was biting her lower lip trying her best not to cry, not over this.

Regina watched Emma's internal struggle.

Emma turned her head and stood from the couch, made for the door without a word.

It took Regina hearing the click of the door to know Emma was gone. Without knowing why she gave chase. It had started snowing, the street were lightly covered in powdery snow. Regina ran after Emma in bare feet.

"Emma…" Emma picked up her pace slightly.

"Emma!" Regina tried again but Emma kept going.

"Swan!" Regina sprinted after her.

Emma heard feet pounding on the road and she slowed. She turned and saw Regina in no shoes and no coat. She hadn't taken in her appearance earlier. But the woman was wearing a clingy lacy black tank top and a shorter black skirt. No makeup, hair slightly mussed up. This was the most raw Emma had ever seen Regina, and the woman was beautiful.

"Emma I have been calling your name for a whole block." Regina huffed out trying to catch her breath.

"Yeah?" Emma just played dumb, why had Regina followed her.

"Emma just, just come home with me. Let's finish talking. You should not be walking home in this weather, you'll get sick." Regina was just starting to feel the cold catching up with her.

"Regina…"Emma held back the tears and glanced towards Regina's home.

Regina just insistently held her hand out and held her palm up for Emma to take it.

"Come on Miss Swan." Regina was growing impatient.

Emma smiled and reached her hand out. Regina really wanted her to come back.

Emma caught Regina audibly sigh when she took her hand.

"Regina, you're going to catch a cold." Emma took her jacket off and wrapped it around Regina.

As Regina shook in her failed attempts to keep warm.

"Well I'm not the idiot that ran out into the snow in the first place." She said through chattering teeth.

When they got back Regina poured them hot tea. Emma expected them to talk about the kiss. But Regina didn't bring it up. She didn't seem bothered at all. Emma started to wonder if earlier had even happened.

She started to notice Regina's shoulders weren't pushed back into perfect posture anymore they were slightly slumped forward. The woman looked a little defeated.

Emma tried to reach the woman with words, as she didn't trust the bodie's reactions right now.

"Regina… It will be ok. Just please don't give up yet." Emma looked into her tea as she talked.

Regina lay her head down on the counter and looked up at Emma.

"But Emma, I am just so tired of this? Of trying to find who wrote the book, of trying to find happiness. Of Robin coming around when I know as soon as his wife wakes up it is going to end…"

"Then I think it's time for the Queen to go to bed." Emma finished swallowing her tea.

"Can I sleep on the couch if I am not allowed to walk home in this?" Emma asked seriously, maybe Regina would change her mind and throw her out.

Regina's face grew confused.

"Emma we can just have a sleepover in my room, the bed is big enough. I trust you to behave yourself." She gave her an easy smile.

"I trust you Emma, don't worry, it's fine." She raised her head and waved off Emma's worries.

"Come on, Princess time for bed, I might even tell you a story." Regina yawned and glanced at the clock as she got up.

"Regina I'm not Henry, I don't need story time." She laughed, "Though I have never had it, maybe it would be fun."

Regina smiled back at the blonde, she would have to think of a story to tell her on their way up the stairs.

Emma sent a quick text to MM that she would be staying at Regina's again tonight, to sleep off the alcohol, small lie.

Regina got towels out for Emma and slipped in bed and was asleep by the time Emma got in, or so Emma thought.

Emma lay there for a while waiting for sleep to come, but it didn't. She heard a sigh from the other side of the bed, Regina must not be asleep either.

"Um hey Regina you awake?"

"No dear… not at all…" Regina said snarkily.

Emma rolled her eyes in the dark.

"Hey Regina?"

"Yes dear, what is it?"

"Thanks for letting me stay."

Regina seemed to be pondering something, it took her too long to finally reply with,

"You're welcome dear."

Emma thought about this for a moment then,

"Regina, are…are you mad at me?"

Regina could feel Emma grip the covers.

"No dear." Regina turned over and found Emma's hands. She pulled one to her lips and kissed the spot between Emma's thumb and pointer finger.

Regina could hear Emma take a shaky breath, "Ok, promise?"

Regina wrapped her arm around Emma, "I promise Emma."

….

Emma woke the next morning to Regina staring down at her pillow, biting her lip in concentration. Emma reached out a finger and poked Regina. It startled the woman but only for a moment.

Regina leaned her head on her hand, her thoughts pushed aside for now.

"How did you sleep?"

Emma stretched, "Like a baby." She smiled.

Regina reached her hand out to stroke Emma's cheek.

Emma's face grew confused. Regina leaned in and kissed Emma before Emma was awake enough to stop what was happening. Emma gasped at the action.

Regina kept her lips there a moment longer, then pulled back with a mix of guilt and fear.

Her walls were down.

Regina wanted to explain what she had just done, needed to explain what she had just done but she couldn't find the words, or any for that matter.

So they just stared at each other.

A/N: Hey guys trying to keep with the story but also not. :P I felt the last chapter was a little rushed but I wanted them to be at this place in the story but couldnt get there another way. Hope you are enjoying the SQ moments that didn't make the show ;)


	10. Some Cuts Never Heal

Regina shifts her gaze first. Her voice quiet. She can't look at Emma that would be her undoing.

"Get out." Emma barely catches it.

Her green eyes grow more vivid with perspiration.

"What?" She's shocked, Regina kissed her.

Regina covers her mouth with her hand, Emma hears a sob rip its way through. This is escalating so fast.

Regina's crying, sobbing, shoulders shaking, her whole body quaking.

She wants to scream 'get out'. But she can't, she wants to get out, but she can't. She is everyone's second choice. She is not a happy ending, she is an evening, an evening that ends too soon. She hopes Emma will run, flee quickly, before she sees more. Before Emma see's Regina's scars written like a book in her eyes.

Emma sits there, developing a deeper sense of sadness than she has ever felt. She thought she knew sadness, but this, what she is watching, this is heart wrenching. This is a messy break, a woman out of control.

Emma could run, she wants to run, but more than that she wants to protect somebody. She wants to be what no one has ever been for her, a savior. Regina's vulnerability gives her strength, strength she didn't know she was capable of, the kind that only comes because you know someone needs you.

She is still watching Regina fall and just when she can't take it anyone, she moves behind Regina, wraps her arms around the brunette's, and tries to soothe her.

But Regina thrashes in her arms, and grows louder.

"NO! You don't want me! I'm a Villain! NO! I'm a Villain….I'm …a Villain…Ima…."

Emma holds tight. She won't let go, not this time.

"Shh Regina, it's ok, shhh no you're not…" She keeps saying words of encouragement, as they fall on deaf ears Regina continues her mantra.

But quickly she begins losing her energy. No longer thrashing, just shaking slightly as she cries.

Emma just holds her and waits.

"Maybe I want a villain." Emma says with a shrug once Regina has quieted down.

Regina is finally listening and turns in Emma's strong hold. Her eyes search for meaning in Emma's.

"What?" Her eyes are lined in red, tears still flowing without much effort. But the sobs have stopped at least for this moment. Because she is caught off guard.

"Regina if you insist on being a villain, then you will be a villain. But I care about you, a lot. I care about Regina Mills. If that woman is a villain fine, so be it, maybe I want a villain."

Regina sniffles, Emma can't mean this. She can't. She wants to be with a villain?

"But I will never see you as anything more or less than Regina, here you are just Regina, to me you are just Regina."

Emma runs her thumbs under Regina's eyes after reluctantly releasing her hold. She pushes Regina's hair behind her ears.

"Just Regina." She smiles her own wet smile.

Regina shakily puts her hand on her own chest, a last stitch effort to protect her heart. Emma sighs and puts her hand over Regina's.

"You are my first choice Regina." Searching Regina's eyes for the first hint of a reaction.


	11. Queen of the Snow

Regina sits there holding Emma's hand. The warmth fills her up with hope. She wants the world to stop, because here in her bed with Emma Swan, the world doesn't seem so bad.

She wonders if Emma is waiting for a response because she doesn't have one.

"Thank you." Is all she can utter. She hopes it doesn't hurt Emma. Emma's words mean more to her than Emma might ever know. Regina wants to pick Emma, to leave Robin and all of that behind. She's just not sure she can yet.

Emma smiles at her. A sad smile. Knowing Regina does care about her helps, the woman kissed her she is definitely interested. Emma must wait for Regina to ride out the roller coaster that is the man in the woods.

Regina sees Emma's face suddenly light up. Regina's eye brows knit. What is the blonde thinking.

"Emma…" Regina grows worried. They didn't speak past Regina thanking Emma. But the blonde is scheming.

"Regina throw on some clothes." Emma rolls her eyes when Regina doesn't move. She goes to the dresser, gets lucky and picks the right drawer. She pulls out two sweatpants and two sweatshirts and some gloves, and tosses them at Regina.

Regina continues to stare incredulously at the blonde.

Emma is dressed quickly, then rushes back over to Regina,

"Put your arms up." Regina complies as Emma slips the sweatshirt over Regina's tank. She holds on the sweatpants for Regina to stick her legs through. Then Emma runs to the drawer and pulls out the thickest socks she can find.

Regina lets her pull them on, then Emma is pulling Regina across the room and down the stairs. Emma slips on her tennis shoes and holds out Regina's boots. Regina pulls them on then moves to grab the front door but Emma pulls her towards the kitchen, to the back door.

Suddenly they are standing on the back patio in the cold.

"Emma, what are we doing?"

Emma turns a shy smile splitting across her face, a little fear for how Regina might react. But hey, she has gotten her dressed and outside already.

"I wanted to build a snowman."

Regina just stands there mouth slightly open. Emma, for having so many walls is really just a kid at heart. Regina closes her mouth and walks out in the snow, the snow that is now a foot deep. She has made snowmen with Henry before, should be no problem.

Emma hands her the gloves, her face giddy. Regina didn't say no. She is going to play with her.

Regina kneels down and starts to make a ball to roll. Emma is just piling snow, not really helping yet.

Emma sits down,

"Ah! Ok my butt is wet." Regina smiles to herself.

"Dear maybe we shouldn't sit in the snow?" Regina looks up laughing at Emma's discomfort.

Emma glares. Regina goes back to work on her part of the snowman, until.

Wap.

She sees snow spray over her shoulder. Regina stands and glares at Emma, who is already holding another snow ball. Regina raises her brow. Does Emma really want to start this war.

Regina scoops up snow and packs it hard.

Emma gulps, "Shit." She yelps when it hits her. That was one heavy snowball. She's off running across the yard. Just enough distance to make another. Regina hot on her trail. Emma turns and fires. Hits Regina right in the chest, snow making it into her hoodie. Regina scoffs. Emma has a proud grin on her face, but it wipes off as soon as there is a smirk on Regina's. Emma drops her next snowball and puts her hands up, slowly starting to back away.

Regina stalks forward dropping her own snowball. Suddenly she is toppling Emma to the ground.

"AH!" Emma screams as she it slammed into the snow with Regina on top of her. Regina smiles and laughs.

"Never start a war you know you can never win Emma." She is smiling triumphantly.

Emma sees her eyes a light honey catching the sun reflecting off the snow. She has never seen Regina look so beautiful. She is trying to commit this moment, this image to memory. She is smiling like an idiot.

Regina starts to blush. Regina moves to sit up, sitting on Emma's legs. Emma pushes up on her elbows. Regina hasn't moved. She gets an idea.

She grabs Regina's face and lunges forward letting her lips connect with Regina's quickly before she flips and pins Regina down in the snow.

"Who's to say I could never win?" She winks and kisses Regina on the cheek this time. The brunette is stunned but has a natural smile on her face. Emma can tell she is in the present.

Regina could knock Emma over, spray her with snow, but she is too happy right now. She shivers.

Emma smile wavers, "Guess we should have put on more clothes if we planned on laying in the snow…"

She gets up and extends her hand to Regina and pulls her up. The brunette still smiling.

"Emma, we have to finish our snowman, don't tell me your giving up already." Regina's smile is infectious and Emma's smile is back.

Regina grabs Emma's hand and pulls her over towards the small ball of snow. She starts instructing Emma to make the base. Emma finishes and the mom in Regina kicks in and she decides they need to finish it later as they will both freeze to death.

They go inside for hot showers. Emma takes Henry's bathroom and once she has thoroughly thawed wanders off to find Regina.

Neither woman noticed that watching from near a tree on the side of the property was a man, with a tear sliding down his eye. She could have been his Regina, she could be, but as he watched her play and fall in the snow with the Swan girl he knew she was happy. He just didn't know if he could let her go…

A/N: Hey guys! How are we liking it? :) I have had this ready for a while, kept forgetting to post it. Might veer further from the story.


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